What I learned from God while cooking

Recently I uploaded tons of sermons to my mp3 player. Some of them, many of them, were from the 2007 Desiring God Conference and others were from my church and still others were rather randomly found but Biblically sound. I hadn't listened to most of them but planned on doing so in the near future. I threw them all in no particular order in my sermon playlist and put the mp3 player in the car for use at school. The first thing I listened to was a sermon Doug gave forever ago that I forgot I had downloaded (great job Doug!), then a message on Biblicial femininity by Carolyn Mahaney which was a great follow up to reading her book and I was very challenged by it.

It took me two and a half days to get through these messages, simply because I don't have much time right now, but it was well worth the effort. Really, not much effort involved. I put a pair of headphones on and hit play, but you know how it goes.

Yesterday morning I began listening to Helen Roseveare's message from the DG Conference and managed to finish it by noon as I came home to clean the tub and prepare dinner. Well worth the time, you all need to download this woman's speech/ talk/ sermon/ lesson. Just don't try to listen to this stuff while you're doing math homework, it won't work out so well. As I was listening to Helen she said something that really just stuck with me, in fact I shut the mp3 player off and wrote myself a note so that I wouldn't forget it. She said (basically) that God has chosen to use each of us, we are tools in His hands and while He doesn't need us He chooses to use us each for His purposes. Good, good, I'd heard it before and agree, but then I was pierced through the heart with a simpe, but profound statement: You are a spade in God's hands, He uses you to dig with so don't get mad if He decides to use a fork, a knife, or any other tool for something other than digging. He has His purposes for you and you must wait for Him to determine to use you as He has enabled you to be used.

I confess this is something I rather needed to hear this week. I can be quite prideful at times, which makes me discontent. If I'd cut the ego out I'd probably be a lot happier, and that's where I'm at with God. We're working on a few things, one of which is my pride.

You see, I want to be used by God. Often times I let myself think more of myself than I should and I get frustrated that I'm a single mom who is working part time in addition to being in school. I look down on all that, at times, as though it were beneath me to be just a student, or just working in a Christian bookstore...or just a mom. I know, of course, that these are all wonderful things to be and to do. I know that this is where God has called me to be, but if I lose sight of the Cross my pride bolsters and I want more. More what? Who knows. All I know is, I must strive to be content. God has placed me by His sovereign will right where I am and there is much to do as He has me dig my ditches.

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